Rawmadawn

Well First of All....RAMADAN MUBARAK!
It's been a little over a week since Ramadan began. I am really happy about Ramadan this year!!! Last Ramadan, I was so weak and Hman had cancelled the wedding on Sept. 1st so things weren't going so well with me. I was in a deep state of depression. But al7amdullah this year things are so much brighter.
The weather has changed. As soon as Ramadan began it started to get chillier outside. Which is good for us living in the U.S. It sure beats the scorching heat during Ramadan. The cold autumn weather reminds me of the past. I know it may seem stupid and rather obvious. But I become nostalgic. I could clearly remember all the dates I've had. I have met so many nice men in the past. But why am I so lonely now? I'm starting to think it's me in some way. I subconsciously push men away. If I allow myself to dwell on the fact that I'm lonely right now, I will eventually fall back into depression. Last years' depression lasted about 8months. And a few days ago I began to fall, but I held my head up high and said "OHHHH HEEEELL NAAAAAW! EFF YOU DEPRESSION! *punches depression in the face*" I'm trying to keep my spirit high and firmly holding on to hope. Because I know that there's someone out there who's perfect for me. Who will accept all my flaws (which are not many! :P ) and who will love me for I am, not who I can become. I know he's out there. I just pray that God puts him on my path soon. I know he will come to me when I least expect it. Sooo..I'm gonna start 'pretending' like I dont care...and like I'm not expecting anything hehehe. It's aaaaall good. For now, I'm gonna simply focus on Ramadan, my family and friends. We're all healthy and that's all that matters!