Chapter 4: Partying deep in the Oasis

House parties back in the U.S took place when someones parents went out of town and we had the house to our own. Or if someone moved to an apartment close to university, it definitely would call for a get together. But out here in the Gulf it was such an exclusive event. Most parties took place in Villas or Chalets. The wealthy owned them and partied there each weekend.

From what it looked like, Nouf and Talal were an item. The term boyfriend and girlfriend was not really used in the Gulf. Terms of endearment were more frequent. Nouf had been driving down, what the locals called Love Street at around 6 pm and so was Talal. He drove up next to her car making sure to stay at her speed. Showing her interest, she remained next to him only glancing over so often. Then she sped up and turned on her hazard lights, which means "follow me". Of course she had to give him a bit of a run around, to see if he was truly interested. Talal followed her until they reached a cold store, where she parked and asked the attendant to get her a Moussey drink and Galaxy bar. And Talal asked for the same and for the attendant to hand Nouf a small piece of paper with his number on it. And from that day on they've been talking. They seem like a cute couple. Both very charismatic and outgoing. Talal looked after her making sure she was comfortable. He wasn't shy to show his affection towards her in front of the guys. I really admired that about him.

The guys played music and danced with each other, which i couldn't help but laugh at. They were good dancers but it was different to see a bunch of guys dancing with each other. The girls and I sat around the kitchen island and sipped on our drinks. I was being cautious about how much I consumed. Eventhough back home I wasn't much of a drinker, I decided to drink tonight because I was trying my best to loosen up. I didn't want to seem so awkward. I wanted to have as much fun because I was full of excitement to be amongst this lively bunch. I was just struggling to bring out this side of me because things were unfamiliar to me. I was trying to absorb everything.

"Sooo Lulu, tell me, do you have anyone 'special' back home?" Nouf asked me.

I was a tad hesitant. But what difference did it make now. "I did."

"Sheno sar...?" asked Zain, wanting to find out more information.

"We couldn't keep a long distance relationship. It would be difficult. Besides, he started to act weird when I had mentioned that we were moving here. He made it seem like I was longer like him. I became foreign and forbidden. Such is life..." I explained.

"A'adi habibti...there's a huge sea of fish that you can choose from...we live in the Gulf, so finding a guy shouldn't be difficult." Zain added, and she was right. I was excited to meet new guys. But I had to make sure I perfected my arabic first!

Khalid walked over to us and swung his arm around Noor, who smiled and blushed at his touch.
"I'm sorry ya binat, but I must take my girl for a while." He said to us with a huge grin on his face which made me think he had something intimate in mind.

Khalid held Noor's hand and played a song that was really foreign to me. Just then Noor nodded her head and and Khalid said "Yalaaaaaa, 3ashani..do it for me."
Noor looked at him disapproving and again nodded. Khalid walked over to Abdullah and Talal that were standing by the mini bar and asked them to go out to the balcony for a bit. The guys didn't question and walked out for a smoke. Noor smiled at Khalid and took down all her hair. Her dark beautiful hair cascaded down her shoulders to her lower back. Zain and Nouf cheered and snapped their fingers as Noor prepared herself. Khalid sat on the couch, glad that he had convinced Noor to dance. He turned the volume up and that's when Noor swung her hair wildly. She shook her shoulder enthusiastically. This is was whole different Noor. I had no idea that this quiet, shy girl was capable of dancing in such a provocative way. I was completely amazed. Khalid got up and danced around Noor making sure not to take his eyes off of her backside, which had a rhythm of its own. The girls got closer to Noor and danced around her as well. I stood near them but really had no idea what to do. I clapped my hands to the beat of song. Zain pulled me closer to them and I felt so out of place. I could not dance to this music if my life depended on it. Luckily the song ended and the guys started to knock on the door wanting to come back inside. I ran to my drink hoping that the girls wouldn't comment about my inability to dance.

"Lulu! What was that? I'm thinking you're just a little rusty. And we're all here to re-introduce all this stuff to you. It's in your blood, in no time you'll even be better than Noor!" Nouf said jokingly, patting Noor on the shoulder

I knew I would never be better than Noor. She had Iraqi blood. Iraqi babies practically dance their way out of their mother's womb. But I was determined to re-learn to dance. And Nouf was right, it would be fun. It would definitely be a part of my work out.

Just then, Talal's phone rang. "Ya akhouuuuuuy! Come right up, bro. We already started the party, but have been waiting for you to make the night even better! Yala!"

Talal looked straight at me and raised his eyebrow. I wasn't quite sure what he meant, but for some strange reason my heart started to beat fast.

Chapter 3:

On the way to Noor's house no one said a word in the car. I didn't know the girls long enough to even began to think what they had in mind. All I knew was that Zain was my cousin, and I didn't think she'd put us in any danger. Noor quickly ran out of her house and dashed inside the car.

"Jeez, what took you so long?! My parents were asking a million questions! We are behind schedule!" said Noor frantically. She ignored me, but I took no offense.

"Habibti! Calm down! So what if we're late! Make them wait! We don't want to look desperate! The later the better." Nouf said carelessly angering Noor even more.

We finally arrived to what looked like beach houses right on the skirts of the Gulf. The girls got out of the car and I followed. I was not use to wearing abaya yet. I walked behind them watching how elegantly they flowed across the pavement, holding their expensive, designer purses on left hand and crystallised, blingin' phones on their right hand. Nouf searched through her purse and pulled out another phone. She made a call and waved us to follow her. We reached the door and could clearly hear music playing. Nouf softly knocked 3 times and the door opened.

"Ahlan wa Sahlan! You made it! We are delighted to see you!" said the guy that opened the door. He was tall, dark and handsome. He had a charming smile that would make any girl melt, even me. He greeted the girls, and was then standing in front of me.

"You must be Lulu! Nouf mentioned that you would come tonight. We're glad you did. I'm Talal by the way."

"Nice to meet you Talal. I'm Lulu...oh. wait. You knew that already." I said nervously, feeling stupid.


We walked into the living room area and the guys stood up to greet us. The girls unbuttoned their abayas and hung them up in the closet. I stood there unsure of what to do.


"Lulu, it's ok. You can take your abaya off. The guys are cool." Zain said assuring me and helping me with the abaya.

"So what would you ladies like to drink? The fridge is stocked with everything you can possibly think of! You name it! We got it!" Abdullah said. Abdullah had an athletic type of body. He had long hair, a little above his shoulders, and he wore a thin head band, which made him look like an Italian football player.

"I'll take anything! Just make it strong, but sweet!" said Nouf without hesitation.

"Me too!" followed Zain.

"Redbull? Do you have any?" Noor asked shyly.

"Only with vodka, habibti" said Khalid. "Don't worry, I'll make it light. You won't even notice! And you, Lulu, what can we serve you?"

At this point I was in shock. I had no idea these girls drank. In the U.S it's normal for girls our age to drink. It would have been no surprise to me back in Chicago. But we were in the Gulf. I didn't even THINK it was possible to buy bottles of alcohol here. This was all too new to me. I was nervous, but I didn't want it to mess up our night and seem like a party pooper. I decided to take a drink and begin our wild night...

Chapter 2: Waking up in strange lands

I woke up the following morning to the sound of the Adhan. To tell you the truth it sounded a little scary. Our house was not far from a mosque, so we could hear it clearly. But just as the adhan went off near our house, another call for prayer went off at another mosque. And before you knew it the sound became louder and louder as the surrounding mosques joined in. It was still dark out, and I wondered if I would ever be able to sleep through this noise.


Sure enough I couldn't go back to sleep after the adhan. I was tossing and turning for about 3 hours and I finally decided to get up and wander to the living room. My parents and brothers were still asleep. I could hear noise coming from the kitchen. I slowly got up and walked towards the noise.



"Good morning Miss Lulu" said Rosie,

"Ah...good morning to you too..." I responded awkwardly.

"Would you like to take your breakfast now?" she asked.

"I'm not really hungry quite yet...thanks though..." I responded.


I was still not use to the idea that we now had 2 maids living with us, as well as a driver. Back at home people would think that we were extremely rich, but here in the Gulf it was normal. Maybe the idea of a driver would be good, seeing as many people are wreckless drivers. I would most likely get in wreck before I knew it.


I went back to the living room to see what was on t.v. Back in Chicago, we had satellite and Baba would be the only one to watch Arabic shows. I never really paid attention to them. My arabic was great, but we mostly spoke English back in Chicago. Therefore we watched a lot of American shows.


"Lulu, you're up this early?" Mom said, as I turned around at the sound of her voice.

"I couldn't sleep as late as I wanted to...how was your sleep?" I asked.

"God, it was a lot better than sitting on an airplane for God knows how many hours! I did wake up a few times but other than that I slept just fine."

Mom walked into the kitchen where Rosie was busy making coffee. I thought of the hours and days ahead. I didn't miss Chicago yet. I just felt like I was still in a daze. I didn't have any plans here. I didn't have any friends, just family that I hardly knew. I was done with my studies. It just all felt so weird. I have always had things to do and places to go. And now finally that I'm in a new place I just don't know what to do with my time, because nothing comes to mind.

Mom came back into the living room and sat next to me.

"So how are you feeling? Is there anything particular you want to do today?" she asked.

"I'm fine...I guess. I don't know...I didn't have anything in mind. Maybe unpack a little?"

"Well that doesn't sound like too much fun. You have the rest of the morning to do that stuff, but we're invited over for lunch at Jida Fatima's house, and everyone is going. That should be fun. We haven't gathered in years."


It's true we haven't seen them in years. Baba had studied in the U.S for both his undergraduate and masters. That's where he met Mom. Then he returned home and talked with his family about a woman he met while he lived abroad. He was interested in her and wanted to marry her. That didn't go so well with my grandparents. My grandmother was furious. They were waiting for my father to finish his studies, come back home and marry a national. My grandfather hated to hear my grandmother complain so much, so he kept advising my father to really think about his decision. My father was sure about his decision and basically told them he either marries the American he met, or he would never marry, and their hopes of having grandchildren could go out the window. After months of tension in the house and of trying to talk him out of this idea, they finally gave in. My father was in his late 20's, and had been responsible enough to live abroad and ask very little from my grandparents. My parents married in small wedding in U.S and another here in the Gulf. This was back in the 1980's. I was born shortly after. During the First Gulf War, Mom feared for our lives. She asked Baba is he would consider moving back to the States. He agreed and we left back to the U.S. I was only a few years old. Nawaf and Ali were born in the U.S. My parents both found stable jobs and that's pretty much the reason why we stayed in the U.S for so long. I know it was really difficult for Baba to stay away from home since my grandparents were aging. But I suppose he was use to living away since he studied in the U.S for so long. And now we've returned back to the Gulf. I had a choice to stay back home and continue working as I had been doing so after graduating from university. But I admit, I was a little scared to stay in Chicago without my family. Although Baba would be sending me money and I would be working, it just felt weird. I also felt like I needed a little change. And once I decided to go through with it and move with the rest of my family, I started to regret it a little bit. As the departure date came closer, I was too afraid to tell my parents that I wanted to stay back home. Back where I was familiar with everything and everyone. So, now I'm here and I have to settle in and take every day as it comes.


We arrived at Grandma's house for lunch and were warmly greeted by everyone. There was of course tears and laughter and the casual staring up and down. Memories of Grandma's house started to come back. Grandma's house was located in the oldest town in the country. Her house was a traditional house with white-washed walls. I remember running around in the enclosed courtyard with my cousins. The smell of burning bukhoor conjured up memories of my early childhood and it was making me feel so much better. Greeting everyone took a long time. We traditionally gave relatives and close friends three kisses per person. So you can pretty much imagine how long that would take if you had a family of 30.


"Lulu! Intey Helwa! masha2allah! Look at that face! You're gorgeous!" said Khala Dana.

"Shukran..." I responded shyly.

"You all have been away way too long! We're so glad to finally have you home!" Khala Dana said with tears in her eyes.

I finally came around to Grandma Fatima. She was such a small and frail woman. I held her trembling hand and kissed her on the forehead. She then held my face in her hands and said something but I could hardly make out her words as she was in tears and choked up.

"Yala ana yoo'an! Bs Khalas no more tears! Let's eat!" said Uncle Mahmood.


We sat in two separate rooms. Women in one room and men in another. The maids brought out huge silver platters mounted with rice and meat stacked in the middle. I became nostalgic and even though I wasn't hungry prior to our visit, my stomach was starting to growl. It was tradition to have lunch sitting on the floor, cross-legged and in a circle, with the food in the middle. Although a lot of families in the country, including my relatives, now owned dining room sets, once in Grandma's house, we would eat in this fashion.

Grandma signaled one of the maids, and I was quickly handed silverware. I looked around and saw everyone eating with their right hand. I had seen Baba eat with his hand a few times but I had never tried eating in that way. I watched as everyone ate and paid attention to their fingers and every movement. I saw how they used the tips of their fingers to ball up the rice, bring it up to their lips, and use their thumb to flick the food inside their mouths. I was starting to feel left out. Even my Mom was eating with her hand! I had never in all my years seen her eat in this way! It would probably be best to practice at home while no one is watching. I used my silverware and dug into my food.

After lunch, the maids came out and cleaned up. We were then served tea and we sat in the living room just chatting.

"Lulu, it's been so long! Do you remember when we use to play here? I miss those days so much. I'm so glad you're back!" said my cousin Zain.

"Yeah, I just started to remember. Me too. We were worry-free back then." I responded with a smile.

"Do you have any plans for tonight? Me and Noor are planning to go over to Nouf's house. Do you remember them? They use to live a few houses down. But they moved to the newer parts of the country. But yeah, you should definitely come. I told them you were moving back. They are looking forward to see you!"

"Yeah, that sounds like fun. I would love to come along." I said nervously.

I went back home to rest for a while. I was not only a tad jet-lagged but I was stuffed from lunch. I guess my nap was longer than I expected. Mom came into my room and woke me up.

"Lulu honey, wake up. Zain is here waiting for you. Yala get up." Mom said.

Zain walked into my room. "Goomay ya Helwaaa! Go get ready!" she said cheerfully. "3andich abaya? If you dont have one, 3adi its ok, we can go pick one up for you at my house.

"La, ma 3andi. Laish? Do I really need one?" I asked, confused. The thing is, the abaya is not worn by all women here. It all depends on the family and how you're brought up. We live in a quite liberal country, unlike the rest of the countries in the Gulf. I didn't think I would need one since most of my clothing was quite modest.

"Ya3ani, it's probably best if you do. Ummm...just in case. Trust me on this." she said in sneaky way.

"Inzain, that's fine..." I said unconvinced.

We left our house and drove to over to Zain's. We entered her walk-in closet only to find black, black, and more black clothing. But the thing is, each abaya was beautifully accented with shiney and eye-catching Swarovski crystals. Although to most people abayas are just black cloaks, to women in the Gulf it is a way to express themselves. She looked at me up and down and brought out a shiney black abaya. I was her little Barbie and I could see the excitement in her eyes. I felt like I was wearing a cape. I'm sure if someone was to see me back home they'd think it was Halloween. She fixed the rectangular shayla over my hair and threw one of the ends over my shoulder. With a wink of approval I turned towards the mirror and saw my new attire. I was in awe with myself. To be quite honest, I felt like royalty. I looked at myself from all angles, and realised how elegant the abaya looked on me.

"Yala let's go, before my parent's start to complain and Jassem starts to question where we are going." Zain said.

It was only 8pm, and not only are most families in the Gulf very over-protective of their daughters but it was also Thursday night, the start of our weekend. Men from surrounding countries would be swarming into town in hopes of having a fun time.

We drove over to Nouf's house. I remember Nouf was chubby when we were kids. And actually quite annoying. She would cry for everything. From what I recall, I didn't like to play with her. But she was always around when we were young, so we had to let her tag along.

Nouf's maid walked us over to Nouf's room. Her house was utterly amazing! Every house I visited was more amazing than the last. We entered Nouf's room, or shall I say her "suite".

"Hala ya banat! Shloonkom?" Nouf greeted us with a huge smile. She looked quite different. Although she was no longer chubby as she was when we were kids, her voluptous body still gave you an idea of what she use to look like. She was dressed in a gold sparkly top and black pants. Her hair was perfect and looked professionally styled. Her make-up was beautifully applied and looked as though she was about to attend a wedding.

"Lulu! Oh my gosh! I didn't believe Zain when she said you were moving here! Who the hell would choose living here than back in the U.S unsupervised? Inti maynoona wallah!" Nouf said.

"Madri...sometimes we just need change..." I said. Maybe if I continued to say it I would actually start to believe it.

"Inzain, yala. Noor has been calling non-stop. She needs to leave her house like now! If it gets too late her parents are gonna complain. We have like 15mins to get to Noor. I already spoke to the driver and asked him to drop us off. I paid him to keep his mouth shut. C'mon, let's do this." Nouf said with scared doe-like eyes.

I didn't know what we were doing. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Back home I always made the plans and made sure everything was well thought out. I wanted to ask, but I just wanted to go with the flow and not care. If only I had stopped to ask...

Chapter 1: Homecoming

After 18 excrutiating hours of flying, I was exhausted and not glad to be greeted by the thickness of the humidty that surrounded the place I was to call "Home". Going through customs was quite uncomfortable as the young airport officer reviewed our passports and gave us cold glances as if we were guilty of trespassing. My father's smile did not soften the officer, who then harshly stamped our passports and waved us through. As we waited for our luggage at the carousel I watched as the women in their long, black Abayas waited next to their husbands, who wore Western style clothing. There was also men wearing the traditional white thob. Baba had been telling Mom that he wanted to go straight to the tailor upon arrival to get a few thobs made. He wanted to fit right in, and was sure that the light, white fabric would make summer in the Gulf much more bareable. My brothers, Nawaf and Ali, wanted to get a few thobs made as well. Mom had asked Baba, right after he brought up the idea of moving back, whether he would prefer for her to wear Abaya. Mom was always very respectful of Baba's culture and traditions. They had been married for 23 years and not once had he forced her to dress a certain way. He left it up to her to decide. Baba's sisters would probably try to persuade her to wear it, since they have been wearing abaya most of their lives. I'm sure they would try to persuade me as well. I just couldn't bare the thought of being completely covered. The weather was harsh enough, and to be covered in black just didn't sit well with me. Thank God we weren't living in Saudi Arabia, where the women are by law required to wear abaya. Even foreigners visiting the country on business had to abide by the law.

Baba told me much had change in our native country. He said that in the past 10 years, the country had been completely modernised and that we should not have a problem fitting in and actually liking the place. He promised to make our living situation as close as it was back in Chicago. Chicago, now, seemed so far away and distant.

As we left the airport, everything was so different. Aside from the hot and sticky weather, nothing resembled the roads back home. If I thought drivers back in Chicago were always in the rush to get home, these drivers were insane and careless. Women who were completely cloaked and who wore niqab,could hardly see the roads. Children did not even wear seatbelts and sat in the passanger seat. If this was back in U.S, those women would have been stopped and ticketed.

Within 20 mins we arrived to our new home. Uncle Mahmood had made sure that the maids and driver were there upon our arrival. Rosie, our new maid, met us at the gate and welcomed us home. Since Baba had told us about the house he was building for us, not once did I ask to see the blueprints. I knew he was aware of our likes and dislikes, so I wasn't really worried we'd feel uncomfortable here. Most homes in the Gulf are guarded by huge gates and tall surrounding walls for privacy, of course. I was surely amazed. This house was nothing like our house back in Chicago. We live comfortably in Chicago, but by the look of our new home from the outside, I was positive the inside would be just as beautiful. As I walked into the house, it finally began to sink in that we were actually in the Gulf.

New project

I decided to put together a small series of collected experiences and that me and my friends have gone through while living abroad in the Gulf. Of course I had to change some names but I really hope you keep reading the weekly posts of this online series. Thank you and Enjoy!

Bitch-listed

Juventus just HAD to fuck up my day. I logged into MSN and he was on. I know this is petty shit, butI had a FEELING he'd be on. He didnt msg me. So I messaged him and he logged off. So I sms and he logs on again. We got into a small argument. Over stupid things. I'm sooo pissed. His behavior pisses me off. Just four days ago he was crying and telling me he wanted to take away this pain I was going through. He said he would do anything. And four days later he gives up. He really pisses me off. I told him he wouldn't hear from me. I told him goodbye. My blood is boiling. My horoscope said STOP trying to change someone. It's about time you stop trying!" Yeah it is. He'll always be a brute. A two-face brute. I will NOT call him or contact him. I already blocked and deleted him from my list. If he wants to contact me he will do EVERYTHING possible to contact ME! Asshole. He just got bitch listed. And booooooooy does it take a long time for me even CONSIDER taking people off that list. I'm so pissed I can't even continue typing. I'll be back a little later. Salamz.

On this episode of Cheaters

Have you ever watched the show "Cheaters"? If you havent, you are SURE missing out on one of the best reality shows out there. I think its been on the air for a few years. People basically write into the show, tell their story of how they feel their significant other is cheating on them. Investigators follow the cheating girlfriend/fiance/spouse, they report back, and bring the inquiring half to the show. They go to the location where the cheating partner is at with their new fling, the cameras are rolling and they are confronted in front of a huge crowd. It's AWESOME!

Well yesterday I kinda felt like the host of that show. Only because I was being really supportive for one of my friends. Last night we went to birthday dinner for a friend of ours. Then my girl, Manda gets an sms that her boyfriend is out at some other club with some cougar. We finished our dinner and bday cake and we took the WHOLE party over to the other club. Luckily we got seated right next to his table. The look on his face was freakin' priceless!!! I was shocked at how calm and civil my friend Manda was. I could never be that tranquil. All hell would have broken loose had I been in her shoes. But then again, we had to definitely remain under control because it's really all down to her reputation. He may be seen as simply a guy caught with another girl, but she would be talked about and wouldnt hear the end of it. She shouldn't have been dating to begin with bla bla bla madri sheno. She approached his table, greeted all of those pathetic bastards and bitches sitting at his table, smiled and walked away. He looked so stupid. I loved it!

He felt so stupid and he was such a coward he asked for his check and his whole table left! We stayed there and enjoyed our time.

When I got home this morning Juvetus smsed me, said that he was pissed because of the messages I sent him. That I never contact him to say nice things. And he's right, I don't. He said he'd call once he got out of work. My phone was off. I turned it on hours later. He sent one pathetic sms "why arent you answering!!".

I'm still confused and feeling like shit. This distance makes things even worse. I pray that I get over this quickly! I'm started to get annoyed with myself. This moping around is annoying!!!!

Well its time for a cigarette. Talk to y'all soon. Until next time...if you feel like a loved one is being unfaitful please contact Cheaters. Thank you and good night!