He was doing a lot of things lately that really hurt my feelings. I don't matter to him anymore. Maybe it was simply just too late. I thought that if I just cleaned up my act then everything would fine. I made drastic changes. Changes that would benefit both of us. But now I see that it wasn't all my fault. Three years is a long time. I was never in this relationship with malicious intentions. I learned to love him day after day, month after month, year after year. Until I got to point now that I was doing everything possible to help us prosper and have a future. I felt like it was going to be worth it in the long run. But he was just expecting me to do everything, it drained all my energy and I couldn't possible go on. When I came back from his country, my heart was so bruised and begging for me to put an end to it. I quickly patted my heart and pushed it even further, knowing that my heart couldn't endure any more pain. I abused my heart. I kept forcefully pushing it forward eventhough it kept sinking and begging for me to have mercy on it.
I learnt to control my temper. I learnt to have hope and faith. I learnt to respect my partner and refrain from cursing. I learnt to express myself in healthier ways. I'm glad I learnt to do all those things in a matter of a few months. And God willing I'll be able to continue to do them for the rest of my life. Now I need to learn how to take care of my heart. I will of course not be selfish, but I will look after my heart and devote all the attention that I could not give it during my times of desperation. I'm going to nourish and nurture my heart and make it healthy again. And, God willing, it expand and regain its health. Maybe by then I will be able to find someone that I will trust enough and that will deserve my heart. Maybe that's the way things ought to be.
Goodbye Hman. One day you'll look back and your heart will sink. Your eyes will burn with the stream of tears that will seem endless. Your life will be empty and pointless. You'll long to see my smile. You'll miss my scent. You'll regret pushing me away.
I learnt to control my temper. I learnt to have hope and faith. I learnt to respect my partner and refrain from cursing. I learnt to express myself in healthier ways. I'm glad I learnt to do all those things in a matter of a few months. And God willing I'll be able to continue to do them for the rest of my life. Now I need to learn how to take care of my heart. I will of course not be selfish, but I will look after my heart and devote all the attention that I could not give it during my times of desperation. I'm going to nourish and nurture my heart and make it healthy again. And, God willing, it expand and regain its health. Maybe by then I will be able to find someone that I will trust enough and that will deserve my heart. Maybe that's the way things ought to be.
Goodbye Hman. One day you'll look back and your heart will sink. Your eyes will burn with the stream of tears that will seem endless. Your life will be empty and pointless. You'll long to see my smile. You'll miss my scent. You'll regret pushing me away.
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